Excessive Self Praise – Domination – Criticism – Exploitation – Unempathetic are just a few signs, you may witness in a friend and shrug it off out of love – it’s time to burst the bubble, take off your rose colored glasses and understand, your friend could be a full length Narcissist and you may never know until you fall victim to it.
With a blistering hot debate and a sprouting social issue of dealing with narcissistic personalities that has had been very common in our society but stayed completely unveiled as of yet, HUM TV drama “Khaas” is able to gain a massive attention on highlighting the traumas and the abuses that the victims of narcissists face each and every single day.
The main character of the show Ammar, from a well-reputed and educated family, is prone to always make his wife Saba, who has also a sound rich and wealthy background, feels undermined and demeaned while only considering himself as ‘khaas’.
A narcissist is basically “extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance: marked by or characteristic of excessive admiration of or infatuation with oneself”, along with showing the other person feel inferior and uncertain about their capabilities, believes and decisions, also urging and demanding from the person to follow what they want.
Behind the mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism…
Causes Behind Narcissism
The main and direct causes to NPD are unclear right now, but some psychologists and researches argue that this can be due to some major childhood incidents, or extreme pampering and/or attention from parents or family in the very young age. It can also be caused by some kind of abuse experienced in childhood or it could simply harmonically been evolved within the personality of the narcissist.
8 Regular Signs Of A Narcissist Around You
Here are some more facts and figures about how narcissists affects their own life as well as the life of their relations. Fortunately, Khaas made it to every point through Ammar’s character in the show.
1. A narcissist is jealous of your achievements: It is commonly known that narcissists have a highly sensitive self-love, due to which they do not allow anyone’s achievements to be shown in front of them. Or otherwise their self-esteem is triggered with defensive aggression, and they tend to demean you or your achievements whether publicly or privately. This satiates their aggression to normal.
2. They have created huge world of fantasy: And they are the King or Queen of that world. A narcissist will never allow you to surpass them in any way, and will always dominate you and order you like a queen or a king themselves. They build up a fantasy of power and superiority over everyone they have a relation with, picturing themselves as the crowned owner of the world (without exaggeration).
3. They are not merely Selfish: Narcissism is just not simply about the feeling of self-love and self-centeredness, it is about dominating personality, not being able to see things from the perspective of others, as well as not understanding others point of view, because they might be losing the fame or attention in their mindset. It is the reason why you might see them lacking any empathy for others, also portrayed by Ammar’s character in the drama, where he remains un-moved by his wife’s tears or misery.
4. There can be no one as charming as a Narcissist: Being romantic should be one of the highlighted qualities that narcissists may possess. Unfortunately, they have a very charming and heart-melting personalities you might just easily fall for. But, as soon as you give them your heart, they will start ruling you out, intriguing your decisions as stupid and insignificant and manipulating you for their self-interest.
5. They need to be admired all the time: Even though you like it or not, if you got a narcissist friend, you need to show (or at least fake it at front) that you admire and appraise him/her all the time. They subconsciously have an utmost feeling, or rather a craving, to be recognized with inflated appreciations (sometimes, for nothing at all). Here our mate Ammar has always been spoken high of from his mother, aunt and sister who always praise him throughout his life, and so automatically his craving for self-admiration and gratification has been satiated since ever.
Read more about another rising issue: MARITAL RAPE: IS IT A CRIME OR A MERE MINDSET?
6. Narcissists have difficulty in maintaining Relationships: and that is just simply vividly shown in this drama. Specifically, the victims of narcissist, i.e. Saba in this case, face extreme relationship issues, and experience emotional unrest, abuse, and mental trauma. Therefore we see how Saba finds herself in a very difficult and challenging situation to cope up with, especially when she wants to save her marriage.
7. They like high status people to be with them: Owing to the fact that they see themselves as the ‘pride of the world’, narcissists only like (and allow) high status people- such as in terms of wealth, intelligence, power, beauty and so on- to go after them. This makes them feel highly valued, and have a special place among high status people in the world. This is why Ammar is seen to flirt with other beautiful girls around and taunts Saba of marrying some other lady with more intelligence, beauty and wealth.
8. Narcissism is also cherished through Songs: Since 1980, many songs are portraying feelings of self-admiration and sense of disregard to others. It is approved by a study that many songs are a source of increasing the feelings of narcissism in the coming generations. Some Bollywood songs with narcissistic elements include ‘Abhi tou Party Shuru hoi hai’, ‘My name is Sheilla’, etc. Whereas those from Hollywood songs include ‘Blank Space’ by Taylor Swift, and so on.
If you sense any of the above symptoms from the given 8 Facts about a Narcissist in a friend or family you have been hanging out, try to give yourself some break and think about the length of it. Interestingly, narcissism isn’t only about the people in your school, college, university or office – it can exist in your family and in your very beloved immediate relationships! All you can do is to save your sanity and maintain a distance.
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